Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh god it's open bar.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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