apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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