I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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