i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
