I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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