On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
