You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I puked a lego.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
