Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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