i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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