He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
