SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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