Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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