Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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