I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
