Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
