Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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