But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
