ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
