Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Enjoy the penises
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
