Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
