It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize