I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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