We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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