At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
