He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
