i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
