y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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