she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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