i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
