I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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