I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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