I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
