TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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