awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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