Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Randomize
