good thing vaginas are great cup holders
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
