Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
