I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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