You work out of a Hotel?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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