my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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