she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
