Jerry, you need to find god
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
