we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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