I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
