hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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