you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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