After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
