you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Randomize