Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
