Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize