How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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