i don't like sucking hair
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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