i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
