god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
how drunk are you?
Several
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
