Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize