you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
