I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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