quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
