"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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