he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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