break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
